Folks, There’s Nothing To See Here But A Brand New Bag of Shiny Balls

While the words in the title of this post have not been uttered by the President or his cronies yet, at this point, they might as well have been. Give Sean time folks, give him some time. Things are getting dicey so who knows what they will say or do next.

There are lots of glittery balls in the air these days with reporters batting them around like little puppies. A red one! A blue one! Will we get a yellow one? Oh, look this one has just been pumped full of fresh air! Sigh. It’s really rather unfortunate. I decided to recount some of my favorites below:

1) Not only did President Obama wiretap Trump Tower, but his behavior has also been much worse than that. The former President was so desperate to implicate Trump in something, he took the unusual step to scale Trump Tower donning a ski mask, with suction cups on his hands and feet, peering into the Trump family penthouse and snapping pictures in an attempt to get dirt. The former President turned up empty handed and the only thing he saw was Melania dancing with glee because she has yet to be forced to leave her gilded palace and move to the White House.

2) Last year, Hillary Clinton received questions from Donna Brazille before her debate with Trump – as President Trump continues to remind us. (As an aside, has anyone informed Trump she lost?) But that’s not the real scandal. The real scandal is that she will receive the debate questions in the 2020 election too, regardless as to whether or not she is a candidate. Because Hillary is a Clinton, she will then offer to sell the questions to whichever candidate is willing to pay the most for them. How do we know this? We know this because we know and the President will provide evidence of his knowledge into future events when he sees fit because that’s what he does.

3) Not only did Susan Rice “unmask” American’s partaking in dubious contacts with shady Russian folks, she also “unmasked” a man named Carl who pretended to be a caveman in one of the Scooby-Doo episodes. Oh, you didn’t know Scooby-Doo had a fifth character who was black? Well, that’s because the liberal media hasn’t reported the story. Susan Rice has been unmasking people for decades. Wait and see, this will be the scandal – if only the media would cover it!

So many scandals – so many untold stories! Look into – they are all true!

Also, for good measure and not to be forgotten – Tupac and Biggie are still alive and the Moon is made of cheese. I hear it’s a tasty Vermont cheddar. Let’s cover this too. Tweets and Fox News commentary are sure to follow.

Ok, I had to have a little fun with all of this, but the level of absurdity is off the charts. And as absurd as my version of the “news” is – is it really that absurd? Washington has gone completely off the rails. We have a President who will say anything and yet, when it counts, says nothing at all (see his Syria Press Conference today as an example). I mean is everyone taking shots of bong water and eating bath salts as appetizers?

Everyone needs to keep their eyes on the ball – one ball.  The ball is Russia and this White House, not a bunch of people out of office and out of power. Can we give the American electorate, the media, and our politicians a dose of Adderall. Pay attention!

It is worth repeating the following until everyone understands the gravity of the situation.

The FBI is investigating the sitting President and his pals for possible collusion with a foreign government in an attempt to sway an election through hacking and possibly other backroom deals and shenanigans. We are a democracy so it’s sort of a big deal to think an outside adversarial government had a favorite in the race and worked to get that person elected. It’s even a bigger deal if those same individuals knew about the plan and worked with the adversarial government.

We are a democracy, so it’s sort of a big deal to think an outside adversarial government had a favorite in the race and worked to get that person elected – to the detriment of the other candidate. It’s even a bigger deal if one of those campaigns knew about the plan and worked with an adversarial government against an American election.

Why the hell don’t more people care about this? If we don’t care about this as a country, then what’s the point of continuing this little democratic experiment? Let’s just let a handful of folks pick people to be President. Better yet, they don’t even have to be American to do the picking.

The FBI is also reportedly creating a separate unit that will continue looking into this issue, which would be a sign of an expanding investigation – not a shrinking one. A new connection to Russia is found almost daily. This is the story no matter how much certain folks allege Susan Rice apparently behaved like Gladys Kravitz from Bewitched for political purposes (if that is to be believed). Nevermind what her actual job was and why she would “unmask” someone.

 

President Trump can deny everything and call it “fake news.” Sean Spicer can tap dance until he is out of breath and red in the face. I mean, honestly, the man is going to beat-box next in an effort to deflect. Kellyanne can offer up alternative facts. Ivanka can be brought out to be pretty and say nice things about women. The Trump team can continue to razzle dazzle the populace until they catch wise, but there is always the chance they will catch wise! I mean people will catch wise. Maybe not everyone, but enough.

More importantly, where there is smoke there is usually fire and anytime someone repeatedly tells you, move along there is nothing to see here folks – there is probably something to see.

 

Sean Spicer Has a Tantrum

Aww, poor baby. Does little Seanie need a binky? Is he teething? Did he not have his afternoon nap before coming out to face the music? Is he hungry? Does he have a shitty bum? It would appear that being the White House Press Secretary, especially in this administration, is hard and Seanie doesn’t seem to like it.

Testy, testy, testy Sean!

“The facts are what they are!” Ok, Sean. PUHLEEZE!  We don’t have all the facts, but what we do know does not look so swell, which is why the FBI is investigating these fools! Silly rabbit, tricks are for kids! We know better!

I have said this before, but I almost feel sorry for the man. He has to have the hardest job in Washington right now, which is to publicly come out on television everyday and defend the defenseless, peddling sprinkle covered poo balls on waffle cones and hoping that no one notices the difference from chocolate ice cream.

Unfortunately for Mr. Spicer, while there is clearly a segment of the public that will believe anything that comes out of this White House, the vast majority of the public has a more discerning palate  – and the majority of the American press corps would fall into that camp. No one likes the taste of shit.

April Ryan did not ask any hard questions yesterday. She asked inconvenient questions and, to be sure, this Russia story is most inconvenient but he should be used to this by now. If the sun rises, he should be prepared to answer questions about Russia.

Did he really try and deflect by saying Russian salad dressing? Is he Carol Burnett now? He’s supposed to be funny?

Again, I almost feel sorry for him. At the end of his day, does he sit in his sofa with a beer and cheesecake to eat his feelings? No, he probably needs something stiffer than beer – maybe whiskey. The man mus take a swig of something to come to work everyday and to rearrange the deck chairs on the Titanic with a smile on his face, although he could work on the smiling part.

It is debatable as to whether or not there is fire with this Russia story, but by God there is a bunch of smoke. The smoke is billowing through all corridors of the White House and out the roof. Most reasonable people would anticipate finding a fire eventually and the press knows this.

Seanie is going to have to get used to April Ryan, and others, asking him the inconvenient questions.

He can huff and puff and pout and belittle reporters, but reasonable people know better. Fortunately for the White House, and unfortunately for him, Republicans have no appetite to truly investigate this matter – yet. They are stalling and keeping independent investigations from occurring. So that buys the White House some time, but that also means poor Seanie is going to have to keep coming out to face another day of pesky reporting and questioning.

Seanie could quit after all and Trump could resign, but that would be too easy.

As my not so politically interested husband said this morning, “cant these people just go away already?”

It is a lovely sentiment, but unfortunately it’s not going to go down like that. Where is the soap opera in that? Where is the history to be made without a fight?

And, Mr. Spicer – if I could make a suggestion. Get some sleep, grab a V8, and get some thicker skin dude, because you’re going to need it working in this White House.

Lastly, and this is most important, stop giving Melissa McCarthy material! You know we’re going to see this skit on Saturday Night Live in the near future.

From Russia With Love – Part Three

Cue the James Bond theme! What an extraordinary day March 20, 2017, turned out to be in American political history. If anyone tells you that witnessing the FBI Director admit, publicly, that the FBI is indeed conducting an investigation into whether or not the campaign of the sitting President of the United States colluded with the Russian government to get said President elected needs a hard slap in the face with a history book.

It’s huge! In honor of 45, it’s YUGE!

Number 45 has not been President for more than 60 days, and his White House is immersed in scandal. Clementine the Great better call Scandal’s Olivia Pope to extricate him from this mess. He needs a real fixer and stat!

As I watch this sideshow, I can’t help but think about President Nixon resigning for a cover-up of a petty office break-in and President Clinton being impeached for being unfaithful to his wife and stupidly perjuring himself in the process. When thinking of those two massive political scandals, the Trump allegations would seem monumental to me. I would believe that Congress would have surrounded the White House with pitchforks by now.

My favorite part of the entire thing is the fact that the Trump presidency is ablaze, engulfed in flames, and no one within his circle is running towards the flames with a pale of water! Meanwhile, the President, apparently gripped by madness in his preoccupation with conspiracy theories and other foolishness continues to douse gasoline on the burning house with his tweets and obfuscation.

Sing it with me folks, BURN BABY BURN!

But what a day! The FBI is investigating the Trump campaign for possible collusion with a foreign government and not just any government, Russia. RUSSIA. The main adversary of the American government and people during the last half of the 20th century. Eh, maybe there is nothing to see here as Sean and Kellyanne and others would have us believe.

Even though everyone around the President claims their hands were not in the cookie jar, they are always wiping chocolate from their hands and crumbs off their chins. Again, maybe there is nothing to see here and this will all go away.

And speaking of Mr. Spicer. Oh, Sean Spicer – that poor unfortunate soul. Can we take out a fund for this man and help pay his mortgage, cover his car payments, etc. – because while his spine has long ago disintegrated, even his innate dignity as a human being is wasting away as he continues to peddle poo to the media for his boss. Let’s pay his expenses so he can dust off his dignity, pick it up off the floor – and walk away from this circus.

Week after week he is trotted out to defend the defenseless, publicly and proudly proclaim and repeat the absurd and debunked, and of course convince the public to permanently suspend their disbelief on a variety of issues. And, so, as par for the course, he tapped danced today in a vain attempt to distract from the stench of scandal.

Poor, poor Sean Spicer – someone pass the collection plate. By the looks of things he apparently hasn’t slept since the Super Bowl, and if this level of scrutiny keeps up, I am afraid he is going to drown in a puddle of his own sweat. It seems unfair really, to have to publicly defend such a seemingly unstable, corrupt, and an ill-equipped man on a daily basis. It also must stink to know that you just keep serving up comedic gold on a platter for Melissa McCarthy on a weekly basis!

Today was a big day! While James Comey confirmed what most sane people who realize the sun rises in the east believed, it still was shocking to watch and hear it be confirmed. And look at James Comey, gossiping Chatty Kathy Jamey Comey, seemingly finding his spine and stating the obvious. However, off topic, can he get a script? Does the FBI talk? Does it not talk? I am not sure we should have had his confirmation about this investigation (as much as I loved it) or that Hillary Clinton nonsense he pulled in late October. Not always sure what to make of Mr. Comey, but maybe that’s intentional.

And if Mrs. Clinton was apparently corrupt, this administration would appear to be an overflowing vessel of corrupt, nefarious and odious actors who are a stain on our democracy.  This entire sideshow, in my opinion, is a big piece of karmic pie for those in Trump’s world and so I hope they all have a large sweet tooth!

So I will keep watching the Trump version of From Russia With Love. While I don’t know what will happen, my reading of the tea leaves does not look good for this President long term, mainly because he doesn’t know how to act and he refuses to learn. His first order of business should be to try to put out the fire, but based on his continued tweets and behavior at the rally in Kentucky last night, he is still standing in the corner with a blow torch.

Stay tuned for the inevitable posting of From Russia With Love – Part Four.

I Still Smell Bullsh*t

I don’t feel like sugarcoating stuff today. The bullshit kept rolling in last week. Sorry for cursing folks, but there is not a better word for what is coming out of Washington, D.C. other than bullshit.

I love blogging and really dislike when life gets in the way, but that’s what happened last week for me and boy did I miss quite a bit of absurdity coming out of Trumpland this week. Damn this day job of mine! Does anyone want to pay me to sit at home and drink coffee so I can watch and read about this lousy excuse of an administration with my mouth agape – and then write snarky blog posts about them? Ugh, that would be the life! A boy can dream.

What do we do when our President lies as he breathes and blinks? How do we take him seriously? At this point, I suspect it is not his fault. The President is not well and cannot be blamed that this horrible affliction of rampant dishonesty has washed over his mind, that he cannot separate fact from fiction and cannot discern real new sources from fake ones.

So, President Obama tapped Trump Tower. GROAN. Yep, there was Barack in a black skull and leather gloves breaking and entering into a most public of buildings on 5th Avenue to wiretap Trump’s phone lines. OY VEY. I am not going to even bother to get into the legality and logistical problems with those claims other than to say our President has a sickness. If he were just your 70-year-old orange Uncle who spouted off nonsense, you’d probably just roll your eyes or pat his head and just think to yourself – that’s just crazy old Uncle Donald. Unfortunately, our crazy Uncle Donald is President.

We received job numbers this week which were hugely, and bigly, good and poor Sean Spicer was trotted out to joke about how these particular numbers are now true but were somehow fake under President Obama. Meanwhile, the numbers are coming from the same Labor Department they have always come from. More lies and more insanity. The press giggled like schoolchildren at the joke. Appalling.

We had movement on healthcare which has been entertaining to watch and listen as Republicans try to remove their necks from the noose they tied for themselves almost eight years ago. Instead of critiquing certain parts of the healthcare law, they basically just said the entire thing sucked like hormonal angry, gothy teenagers. That was an easy position when they didn’t own the thing, but now they do own it and they have to govern. They’re learning that health care policy is hard.

Sean Spicer brought out props again to inform the American public of the virtues of their new plan. He pointed to two stacks during a press conference. Obamacare lots of pages. New plan not so many pages. See, even a toddler can get it. But, for real, can someone tell Mr. Spicer no more props? Stop trotting out paper to make political points and Spicer the fool wonders why it is so easy for Melissa McCarthy to skewer him on Saturday Night Live. Yes, let’s make judgments about health care based on the number of pages that came out of the printer – riiiight!

There was more dirt on Michael Flynn.

We had a new and improved Muslim-ban because Trump is like a dog with a bone and just want let that particular nasty, discriminatory bone go.

The Russia scandal that the Trump folks protest is not a scandal continues to look like one more and more each day.

Oh, and Ben Carson opened his mouth. As a black man, I really shake my head at his tomfoolery. I began a separate draft about his brand of stupidity earlier in the week, but never posted it as the days got away from me and the subject seemed outdated as the Trump folks love rolling out new hits of insanity each day. However, I may have to make an exception about that topic and post it anyway.

I am sure I am missing foolishness.

So I missed quite a bit of bullshit this week. I’ve got to keep my eye on the rolling fecal balls coming out of the White House each day. I will redeem myself with posting this upcoming week.

Thanks for reading!

 

King Trump on the Throne

Can President Obama come back?  What about George H.W. Bush? I know he is 92, but he is still of sound mind and served in various levels of government. I’ll take him. Fine, America – no Hillary, but what about Bill? I’ll even take Dubya. I’ll take George W. Bush, which is really saying something. I miss the man who once said, “hispanically speaking” – so that tells you we are in dire straights.

Alas, it has been a little over a week since the Great Clementine ascended to the throne. King Trump and his court have been busy, giving us a glimpse of the horror show we can look forward to for the next four or worse eight years! We shouldn’t be surprised, Trump has been telegraphing he thinks he’s King ever since he gave the world a glimpse into that gold and gaudy imitation Versailles on 5th Avenue.

If we didn’t know it before, we learned the King and his team has a propensity to lie. We’ve heard about alternative facts from Kellyanne Conway. The administration continued to shovel alternative facts to the American people about rampant voter fraud (lie). Crowd sizes at Trump’s inauguration (still lying – just can’t let that one go).  And in an interview with David Muir – the King informed the American people of his affinity and belief in torture and that it works (more lies). Wait, can I say that? Am I still allowed to call a lie a lie without fear of the guillotine?

Wait, this is still a democracy with a right of freedom of speech enshrined in its constitution, right? There was no coronation on January 20th, even if the current President seems to believe we had one. Those darn alternative facts keep getting in the way! Just because he and his minions say something is true, doesn’t make it so. So, I shall continue with my truthful snark without fear.

Oh, what else happened in week one inside the Trump Kingdom?

Poor Sean Spicer, his Press Secretary, was trotted out to dispense and defend the lies of the day – no matter how outrageous or evenly disproven. He, like Kellyanne, remains in training at the devil’s workshop. However, unlike Kellyanne, who has learned to lie without flinching,  Mr. Spicer still struggles. With Mr. Spicer, you can still see his wheels spinning as he tries to weave his lies to the Press Corps – so there was some back peddling where he was concerned. He couldn’t commit to the Voter Fraud lie for instance. The poor soul seems nervous about the whole thing – as if he hasn’t completely ditched his conscience in the nearest trash heap.

We learned through those pesky liberal media sources, The Washington Post and New York Times that our President personally applied pressure to the Parks Department to show, presumably, alternative facts in photographs. If he proclaimed it enough, his inauguration crowd really would be YUGE. News of that “gentle pressure” being applied by the King, I mean President, leaked and no alternative photographs were produced. Has it really come to this?

We also learned that the Administration required a media blackout of all Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) employees. That was rescinded after some outrage, but because we now have a bipolar government, it may be back in effect this upcoming week – who knows.

We also had a flurry of Executive Orders from the President. Does anyone remember when Republicans were outraged about these orders? OUTRAGED – shout that like Oprah Winfrey used to scream YOU GET A CAR, AND YOU GET A CAR! They were so outraged about President Obama’s Executive Orders and “overreach” there were rumblings in some more ridiculous conservative corners that they were impeachable offensives. Eh, that outrage was soo last year.

I guess we really are going to build Trump’s wall – presumably out of donated Legos and Lincoln Logs because no one is going to pay for this nonsense.  Mexico keeps telling us as diplomatically as possible to f-off and that they will be damned if they’re going to pay for it. If they don’t pay for it (as they shouldn’t), that would be a break of a campaign promise by Mr. Trump – and yet another lie.

Aren’t the American people embarrassed by now? I know I am, I am practically hiding under my duvet cover as I type this.

So since Mexico won’t pay for it, it was rumored the President was considering a 20% tax on goods from Mexico, but then some adult in the room explained that would essentially end up being a tax on the American people. They backed off that plan for now.

By week’s end, we received another hastily non-thought out Executive Order that created chaos throughout America’s airports and revealed the worst in the American character. Millions of people were banned, and we were told it was for our safety (most likely false).

There was a lot of news, and this certainly was not all of it. What will week two bring for America and the world? I for one am not sure, but I doubt it will be anything good. We all need to keep our eyes peeled wide open, for the Liar-in-Chief is busy. I wonder if he is making time for tanning or if all this plotting to screw over the American public and seek revenge for his oh so aggrieved working-class voters precludes him from having the time to do that. I guess that could be one good thing that comes out of all this!

And as this week began, we had yet another Executive Order, but this one was stylized like a sale at Macy’s. A two for one deal in regards to regulations. “One in, two out order” is what we’re calling it.

The President may be failing at being presidential, but he is a brilliant marketer. He could sell his own feces to a particular segment of the American people, and they’d eat it up like Godiva chocolate. Everything and everyone gets a glossy meaningless slogan. Everything sounds good. Tomorrow he will be talking like Dr. Seuss, “one fish, two fish red fish, blue fish,”  when announcing his next decree. Will anyone notice if it doesn’t make sense? Although, considering the education level of some of his supporters, probably makes sense to talk like that. Ok, that wasn’t kind, I take that back (sort of).

You know I am actually for making things easier for businesses, but tell me what regulation specifically needs to be rescinded. Some regulations are good. Talk to me about the specific rule causing a loss of jobs and productivity. But the President won’t do that, it’s too much work and requires too much governing. To me, this is all code for allowing business to essentially do what they please and in sectors that affect the environment, for instance, I don’t see how that is good for the country.

The King has ascended to the throne, and he is on a mission – facts, kindness, decorum, or rationality be damned. Heaven help us.