The Gladys Kravitz of the World

Iraq. Afghanistan. Syria. Yemen. Somalia. Libya…Niger. I did not list those countries in any particular order, with the exception of Niger. Niger receives special placement on this list as it appears to be the freshest of American entanglements, or at least in the consciousness of the American people.

Both President George W. Bush and President Barack Obama entered our country into  various on-going conflicts when they were in office. We could debate the necessity of our involvement and the issues in each country, but that never happens. Maybe we should have a presence in all the countries listed above, who knows.

Iraq was the last real debate, regrettably a demonstrably dishonest one, and that was back in 2003. The U.S. military has remained busy since then. America now sneaks into war and conflict under cloak of darkness, it’s citizens – and politicians – apparently none the wiser.

And now the demented, tangerine colored septuganerian that occupies the White House is supposed to make rational decisions to make all of this better – great. Oh, and I am not even including Iran and North Korea on this list because they represent unique nuclear challenges unrelated to our War on Terror activities listed above.

So this brings me back to Niger, a country I am sure most Americans have never heard of and are secretly mistaking for that abominable “N word” we are all taught never to say, has an extra G, and remains popular at Ku-Klux-Klan and Trump rallies.

Why didn’t we know that America had close to 1,000 service members in Niger? Why didn’t we have this discussion as a country when President Obama decided to send the first soldiers to Niger over two years ago? Why did things seemingly escalate under President Trump without discussion or coverage? I mean we all know those Kardashian sisters copulated and are pregnant. Why did the current President of the United States say yesterday and I quote, “I didn’t specifically approve this mission.” Huh? What? So much for that civilian control of the military as our founders intended, sheesh! Now I will be partisan for a moment, could you imagine if that had of been President Obama’s response to say – Benghazi? I digress.

I am not going to debate the merits of America’s continued behavior as the Gladys Kravitz of the globe, peeking over fences and peering into the windows of countries looking for boogeymen and monsters. I am not opposed to American intervention in the world, but I am opposed to the autopilot approach our country seems to be on since 9/11 where it comes to supposedly rooting out terror.

And frankly, I am beginning to be more fearful of Americans with guns shooting me at the Whole Foods than I am about terrorists in Niger or Syria or anyplace else for that matter. I am probably more likely, in America, to be shot on the street – for no reason – than by a terrorist from Niger. Oh, and  the bullets that might come flying at me could come from a cop, a gang member, or a “domestic terrorist” – the title we reserve for any person of color who commits mass murder with a gun who isn’t a white male. So many ways to die – how fun.

I hope the four service members who died in Niger rest in peace and that their families find solace. I believe that our country should have known about their sacrifice before they died. I hope that our government, specifically members of Congress, remember they have the power to authorize and declare war – not the Executive. They also control the purse strings. Senator Graham and Senator Schumer shouldn’t be on television saying they didn’t know about the number of soldiers in Niger – it’s outrageous. America, as is the case with so many things, needs to do better.



Just Stop Talking

Put a lid on the lips and clamp the tongues! Truly, for the love of God, can folks just take a minute and stop talking? Just stop talking. It’s a lesson for us all when we have royally screwed up or maybe to consider before we screw up!

It has been a week since I have written anything and my brain aches from the pure stupidity flying around through the atmosphere in America right now and making national news.

I am talking to the lovely folks at Pepsi, the CEO of United Airlines and, of course, my pal Sean Spicer who, as a baby, can’t help play in his own fecal matter on a weekly basis.

But it’s ok, we all make mistakes, start to dig our own graves and bravely prepare to jump in. However, at some point, you have to stop digging. You can put the shovel down and do the Kool-Aid man backup shuffle and get out of the pile of dong you have found yourself standing in.

I previously wrote about Pepsi but did not have time to add a post about their non-apology statement. I don’t even know what that initial response was supposed to be. Then there was United Airlines who apparently don’t need customers, which is the only thing that explains their CEO’s initial response.

And then there was my absolute favorite step in poo person of the week, Mr. Spicer. Mr. Spicer has stepped in it before, but this week – man – there are no words. Even I almost felt for the guy. Mr. Spicer quibbling about chemical weapons and airborne attacks – and comparisons to Hitler and which mass murderer was worse. Sheesh. It’s probably a safe bet for us all to forego any comparisons to Hitler. It never ends well. Someone should have come out from underneath the podium, gently tapped him on the shoulder, and just told him to be quiet – instantly.

Because of my failure to write anything these last couple of days, I was unable to comment on the events about Syria. I actually believe the U.S. and the West should respond when countries violate international laws and norms, like using chemical weapons. So, for a day or two, I suppose I was on the same side as Trump. But we have a White House who cannot even seem to agree on why they did this or what the end goal is and they’ve had a week, if not months to come up with that rationale.

It also doesn’t help that we are learning that Trump apparently acted because Ivanka was upset by this event. Huh? Trump didn’t know about this before, never thought about this as a candidate? Can’t he just go out and buy his daughter an ice cream cone like all good father’s do when their daughter’s are upset? If that doesn’t work how about a nice dress or, hell, their rich –  buy her a penthouse! I mean come on!

And we really can’t intelligently debate the merits of any military action because there was Sean babbling like a buffoon about Hitler not gassing anyone – although he presumably meant during combat. Either way, it was just awful, painfully awful.

Poor, poor, Sean Spicer. I actually don’t think he meant to sound like such an offensive dweeb but, you know what, as the title states – sometimes it better to just stand quietly. No one asked that man to make that comparison.

So, for today, I am going to advocate that everyone just stop talking. When you screw up, apologize quickly, put your lips together, and just be quiet. Put down the shovel. Get out of the dirt. Walk away from the grave you have created and just because it’s there, doesn’t mean you have to jump in.



Folks, There’s Nothing To See Here But A Brand New Bag of Shiny Balls

While the words in the title of this post have not been uttered by the President or his cronies yet, at this point, they might as well have been. Give Sean time folks, give him some time. Things are getting dicey so who knows what they will say or do next.

There are lots of glittery balls in the air these days with reporters batting them around like little puppies. A red one! A blue one! Will we get a yellow one? Oh, look this one has just been pumped full of fresh air! Sigh. It’s really rather unfortunate. I decided to recount some of my favorites below:

1) Not only did President Obama wiretap Trump Tower, but his behavior has also been much worse than that. The former President was so desperate to implicate Trump in something, he took the unusual step to scale Trump Tower donning a ski mask, with suction cups on his hands and feet, peering into the Trump family penthouse and snapping pictures in an attempt to get dirt. The former President turned up empty handed and the only thing he saw was Melania dancing with glee because she has yet to be forced to leave her gilded palace and move to the White House.

2) Last year, Hillary Clinton received questions from Donna Brazille before her debate with Trump – as President Trump continues to remind us. (As an aside, has anyone informed Trump she lost?) But that’s not the real scandal. The real scandal is that she will receive the debate questions in the 2020 election too, regardless as to whether or not she is a candidate. Because Hillary is a Clinton, she will then offer to sell the questions to whichever candidate is willing to pay the most for them. How do we know this? We know this because we know and the President will provide evidence of his knowledge into future events when he sees fit because that’s what he does.

3) Not only did Susan Rice “unmask” American’s partaking in dubious contacts with shady Russian folks, she also “unmasked” a man named Carl who pretended to be a caveman in one of the Scooby-Doo episodes. Oh, you didn’t know Scooby-Doo had a fifth character who was black? Well, that’s because the liberal media hasn’t reported the story. Susan Rice has been unmasking people for decades. Wait and see, this will be the scandal – if only the media would cover it!

So many scandals – so many untold stories! Look into – they are all true!

Also, for good measure and not to be forgotten – Tupac and Biggie are still alive and the Moon is made of cheese. I hear it’s a tasty Vermont cheddar. Let’s cover this too. Tweets and Fox News commentary are sure to follow.

Ok, I had to have a little fun with all of this, but the level of absurdity is off the charts. And as absurd as my version of the “news” is – is it really that absurd? Washington has gone completely off the rails. We have a President who will say anything and yet, when it counts, says nothing at all (see his Syria Press Conference today as an example). I mean is everyone taking shots of bong water and eating bath salts as appetizers?

Everyone needs to keep their eyes on the ball – one ball.  The ball is Russia and this White House, not a bunch of people out of office and out of power. Can we give the American electorate, the media, and our politicians a dose of Adderall. Pay attention!

It is worth repeating the following until everyone understands the gravity of the situation.

The FBI is investigating the sitting President and his pals for possible collusion with a foreign government in an attempt to sway an election through hacking and possibly other backroom deals and shenanigans. We are a democracy so it’s sort of a big deal to think an outside adversarial government had a favorite in the race and worked to get that person elected. It’s even a bigger deal if those same individuals knew about the plan and worked with the adversarial government.

We are a democracy, so it’s sort of a big deal to think an outside adversarial government had a favorite in the race and worked to get that person elected – to the detriment of the other candidate. It’s even a bigger deal if one of those campaigns knew about the plan and worked with an adversarial government against an American election.

Why the hell don’t more people care about this? If we don’t care about this as a country, then what’s the point of continuing this little democratic experiment? Let’s just let a handful of folks pick people to be President. Better yet, they don’t even have to be American to do the picking.

The FBI is also reportedly creating a separate unit that will continue looking into this issue, which would be a sign of an expanding investigation – not a shrinking one. A new connection to Russia is found almost daily. This is the story no matter how much certain folks allege Susan Rice apparently behaved like Gladys Kravitz from Bewitched for political purposes (if that is to be believed). Nevermind what her actual job was and why she would “unmask” someone.


President Trump can deny everything and call it “fake news.” Sean Spicer can tap dance until he is out of breath and red in the face. I mean, honestly, the man is going to beat-box next in an effort to deflect. Kellyanne can offer up alternative facts. Ivanka can be brought out to be pretty and say nice things about women. The Trump team can continue to razzle dazzle the populace until they catch wise, but there is always the chance they will catch wise! I mean people will catch wise. Maybe not everyone, but enough.

More importantly, where there is smoke there is usually fire and anytime someone repeatedly tells you, move along there is nothing to see here folks – there is probably something to see.


Dinner With New Friends

I was convinced by my husband to get off my keister on a weeknight, and in defense of my husband that task alone must feel like attempting to get a Republican health care bill passed by Congress! It’s never anything personal towards whoever we are supposed to meet on a weeknight, but as I often remind my husband – we’re old gays now. We have wine at home and what if I miss Rachel Maddow?

I know, I know I need to work on that. So, off to dinner, I went.

The evening was going swimmingly. Pleasantries were exchanged. I laughed at the jokes and banter of the other couple, and there was also wine – things were going well.

There was a discussion about The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and Madonna. Reality TV and conversation about Madonna at the same dinner, I was in heaven. The Madonna chat was so specific, there was a back and forth about whether Confessions on a Dancefloor or American Life was the better 2000 era album. American Life lost because of the rap Madonna performs in the title song. You didn’t know Madonna

You didn’t know Madonna rapped? Think something along the lines of, “yoga and pilates and the room being full of hotties.” I expressed my love for that album and that song but somehow lost that debate (can you believe that?!). To my friends Ashley and Andrea who had to suffer through my singing of that song during college, I apologize.

I expressed my love for that album and that song but somehow lost that debate (can you believe that?!). To my friends Ashley and Andrea who had to suffer through my singing of that song during college, I apologize.

But the night was going well, and then something happened. Somehow we all jumped in our magic invisible cars while sitting at the table and willing set forth down the road to hell and never looked back.

We broke a rule and began to talk about politics. It was all sort of confusing because I got the sense we all shared similar politics. But Guest B, that’s what we will call him, wasn’t having any of that.

Guest B had just moved to America a few years ago and inevitably discussion lead to how he enjoyed our country. His response, “your country sucks.”

Oh, ok.

He continued, “your country is a piece of shit.”

Oh, oh dear. Danger, danger. Pull back! Turn around! We hadn’t had that much wine had we? What’s happening? If this had been a Real Housewives of New York – Gay Guy Edition episode, this would have been the point when a glass was thrown across the table or the table was cleared in one swoop with an angry arm.

God bless my husband because he was either eating the best orange chicken he had ever had in his life, or he was looking for Gold or a lost child in his Chinese food. Once we went down this road I don’t think I heard from him the rest of the night. He’s clearly the smart one.

Guest B’s boyfriend tried to reel his partner in, but to no avail. There were at least three more “piece of shit country” bombs dropped during the course of the dinner. He discussed our meddling in his country’s politics, our homeless population problem (despite being the wealthiest nation on Earth), our treatment of minorities, and, of course, our most recent election which proved in his eyes that America was full of racist backward bigots. As someone who would consider himself somewhat articulate, I was caught slack-jawed without much to say.

My husband and this guy’s boyfriend stayed quiet, as I think there wisely knew there was nothing they were going to say to change his mind. I think they also realized he liked throwing the bombs under the guise of “telling it like it was” and to see how far he could push.

I will admit, on several occasions, I had the urge to say if you don’t like it here go back to your country. Ugh, GROAN. I always hate that argument as it feels so juvenile. It’s a favorite line conservatives like to use against more liberal and progressive minded people in my opinion. If you dissect the statement you’re basically saying – oh there are problems you think our country should fix? No, we’re not going to do that, shut up about it, and leave. So, I try not to go there.

So despite his bombastic nature, I refrained from saying that. I also had to admit many of his policy issues I agreed with – maybe just not the methods of the messenger. Despite all those points, I took umbrage with calling America shitty. I just, despite everything, fundamentally don’t believe this country is shitty.

I was challenged to name three good things about this country by Guest B. Being put on the spot, I mentioned our capitalist system and that I believed overall and historically has done more good than bad for the middle class (look I am a Republican!). Two, I mentioned that our country does have a diverse population, more than most countries. Third, yes I did this, I informed Guest B that America saved the world from fascism during the World War II.  Hey, I was put on the spot, but that’s what I came up with and he was quiet momentarily.

Continuing on my surge of opinion, I expressed that our country is constantly changing and evolving and that there is progress – even if some try to stop it. He countered that none of that mattered that our country would always be “shit” since it was founded on slavery. Boy, he loved that word shit. I argued that as a black man, I could not accept this idea that the country could never get past that, as the opportunities and life I had in comparison to my Grandparents clearly was proof of positive change and policy. He wasn’t having any of it.

I argued that as a black man, I could not accept the idea that the country could never get past that, as the opportunities and life I had in comparison to my Grandparents clearly was proof of positive change and policy. I also mentioned that I didn’t think it was by accident that out of all the Western democracies, it was America that elected a Barack Hussein Obama and not say France or Germany. He wasn’t having any of it.

There was some railing against Trump, all the familiar tropes that I wholeheartedly agreed with it. I push backed against the notion that everyone who voted for him was inherently racist. I noted that some of the counties Trump carried, Obama carried in 2008 and 2012. I think I received an eyeroll on those points. I was shocked I was defending Trumpsters! Guest B was not having any of it.

My husband continued to live in his plate. I finally stopped arguing.

I walked away feeling that whatever America’s problems are, they can be fixed by people and policy. I truly believe that. If America were a person, I probably would be shaking her every single day and shouting get your stuff together, but I cannot relegate my country to a pile of crap or give up on it. As I reminded Guest B multiple times, show me a country without problems. He reminded me, however, your country is the one that is always talking about “American Exceptionalism.” Guest B had me there – checkmate.

One thing I learned from Guest B, even if he wouldn’t admit it, is that the world does look towards America for leadership, a vision. The world watches and listens to what we say and do. When we fall short and, yes, that happens more than I’d like to see – it is noticed. And even if Guest B would not admit it, he was clearly watching and expecting more out of America too.

I also learned I  will go back to sitting on the couch on weeknights. That dinner was exhausting!




Charlie Chaplin – The New Secretary of State

Rex Tillerson. What to say about Mr. Exxon Mobil? Let me start with this, I gave him a few more points than say, Ms. Betsy “watch out for the grizzlies” Devos, or Dr. Ben Carson who recently taught the world that slavery is just another form of immigration – albeit a little harder. Yes, I gave him more credit than those two cabinet picks. Did I think he would be the next Thomas Jefferson at State, absolutely not, but thought he would do a little better than this.

What’s with this silent movie routine during his press conferences? One of the things that makes our democracy different than say some sort of authoritarian regime is that the leaders pretend to act like the press is important and sometimes put on their big girl panties and answer questions.

The questions shouted at him don’t seem all that difficult, but there he stands awkwardly in silence. I am keeping waiting for him to pull an Ashlee Simpson and do a jig off the stage once he realizes that the music has stopped and he can’t lip-synch or mime his way out of this particular pickle. As an aside, if you have not seen or don’t remember that little gem of Ms. Simpson on Saturday Night Live, please go YouTube it.

But really, we need a Secretary of State that speaks! We also need one that does not reportedly need naps and extra rest so early on in his tenure, but I am going to be kind today and keep quiet about that.

More upsetting than his silence may be his complicity with the planned gutting of the State Department. In what job, and on what planet, does anyone ever agree to having massive cuts to the departments that they run? Trump plans to slash millions from the Department of State and his chosen Secretary of State seems to see no harm or any potential repercussions from this action. I am paraphrasing, but he seems to believe that because of increased military spending – there will be less wars and thereby American diplomacy will not be needed as much around the world. Huh? Come again. If he is going to espouse opinions like that, maybe he should keep his Charlie Chaplin routine going.

I don’t expect Tillerson to let out a tirade against what Trump plans to do (Trump is his boss after all), but some gentle push back would be nice. Some convictions about the importance of American diplomacy and “soft power” would be welcome, but he probably doesn’t know or believe in any of that – he is an oil man with no government experience. Also, I am aware that their is an anti-government fervor that has swept across the country. We don’t need to fund things like the National Endowment for the Arts or programs for the poor, but State? As a reminder for all those anti-government folks, State is one of those pesky departments that go back to the country’s founding – so it was deemed important in 1789 and certainly has not lost it’s importance in 2017.

So I am disappointed in this road we are heading down with Tillerson, but I suppose I should not be surprised at this point. Let me put him the unqualified boat with DeVos and Carson and so many others.




America: The Bully

If one thought of the international community as a playground with children’s cartoon characters, America is rapidly filling the role of Roger Klotz from Doug and Angelica from Rugrats. We are becoming the obnoxious bully everyone loves to hate with Trump in The White House. Not America the light of the world, America that sends it’s new U.N. Ambassador who on her first day proclaims: “For those who don’t have our backs, the U.S. is taking names.”

Oooh. Burn! Boom! The world collectively shakes in its boots, or I suppose that is the desired effect.

Ambassador Haley, as the kids say, gurl bye!

Like, really? This is what we’re doing? This is how the Ambassador to the United Nations speaks to them on Day One?An ambassador to the United Nations? Maybe my ears were clogged when she said that. I didn’t actually hear that, right?

But Americans, or some of us, love the idea of America with a gun on her hip at all times as she gallivants around the world. America as the hero, the fighter, like Sylvester Stallone in Rocky who can do anything and beat anyone – except when we don’t. There is always that little problem of when we don’t.

What are we fighting for? What are we so angry about? Taking names. Who the hell talks like this and who puts someone like that in a position as an ambassador? Oh, right Clementine the Great.

If the role we were looking to fill was  International Badass – I get it, put Nikki Haley in that slot quick so she can talk slick and tough and do her best John Wayne impersonation.

But America needs an Ambassador, we need diplomats. We need people who believe and understand diplomacy and history. We do not need badasses. This isn’t some Western flick. America needs allies and individuals on our side, not enemies and a growing list of countries we antagonize.

President Obama was weak and feckless according to the Republicans. Everything he did jeopardize our security. I don’t agree with that assessment, but fine – for the purpose of today’s post let’s say that’s true. How is saber rattling and provocation going to improve things?  There is no logic to be found in the fact that our country’s course correction for this problem was to elect an insecure, blustering fool intent on engaging in pissing contests and cockfights with the rest of the world.

It’s as if America, and our chosen leader, has a small penis and, so, we have to overcompensate by pounding our chest and provoking fights with other nations.

The concern, of course, is that one of these days our bully-in-chief is going to say something or do something that has consequences our country does not fully anticipate or can handle. Again, a bully can’t win all the fights, and there is always that one person, or be it country in this case, willing to stand up to the bully and beat their ass.

By my count we have done our talk tough, try to push them against the locker routine with China, Mexico, seven majority-Muslim nations with a special shout out to Iran who we decided to “put on notice.”

Today, the King having tired of whatever the Prime Minister of Australia was saying to him, reportedly hung up the phone and ended their phone conversation early – but not before bragging about the election and telling the man he had better calls with other world leaders. Allegedly. If allowed, I suspect he would have screamed off with his head too.

Let’s go back to China for a moment. Good old super populous China. Our trading partner and holder of vast sums of our debt – our special friend, China. If China had a penis, I bet it would be bigger than ours, but that doesn’t seem to stop the President from flashing his and grandstanding.

Then President-elect Trump gave China the finger and ended up on the phone with Taiwan (which we don’t do), as opposed to Beijing first,  breaking years of cultivated diplomacy. Because that’s not enough, Trump continues to give China the finger by tweeting haphazardly about it being a currency manipulator. Trump may be right about that, but Twitter is not the medium for such discussions.

Yes, for the love of God if Kim Kardashian and Miley Cyrus are on Twitter it’s probably not the forum for major diplomatic discussions! Who is going to tell this man that you can’t discuss ANY  substantive political issue in less than 140 characters? Sorry, I digress.

And lastly, we’ve taken a more hawkish stance on Chinese activities in the South China Sea where there are island building and territorial disputes between various countries.

When China basically responded that American interference in the South China Sea would result in war between our two countries, the American media was too busy chasing the shiny balls that were the President’s silly Executive Orders on healthcare and regulations and whatever tweet of the day to really focus on that.

Our fight with Mexico would be hilarious if the proposed policy weren’t so appalling in its arrogance. We want to build a wall. Ok, great. The President didn’t convince Americans that it was important enough during the campaign and that we should pay for it.  No, instead, he dictates that it will be built and Mexico will pay for it. Mexico and Mexicans were minding their own business and had no say in this declaration. The entire thing is absurd.

As any sane person would expect, Mexico says they don’t want to build no stinkin’ wall! Ok, I said that with a Mexican accent in my head. I feel very passionate about this foolishness!

President Trump almost seems incredulous that the Mexican government has not caved. Our bullying President does not re-think his position, oh no, he instead begins to talk about tariffs and taxes and reimbursements and other crap. It’s ludicrous.

The Muslim ban which the Trump Administration doesn’t want to get caught calling a Muslim ban, ultimately just works against our long-term interests in the Muslim world. We can’t say we want peace with the Muslim world when we are behaving as if we are anti-Muslim. It’s really that simple. It’s like a Klansman claiming he just has a bed sheet on his head. A duck’s a duck. A Klansman is a Klansman and an American President assisting in the spread of Islamophobia – is exactly as it looks. More importantly, we are shamefully silent when there is an attack on a Mosque in Canada by a white Christian – who killed six.

So basically if a Muslim commits murder we shut down travel when white folks do it – the President can’t even mention it. We stood with France and Germany. Guess the Candian shooting doesn’t fit the narrative.So, yes, none of that will be good for American relationships with that region of the world.

And then there’s Iran – which deserves a shout out. Has King Trump been awakened from his slumber to receive a special briefing on the Rubix cube complexity that is Iran?

There is one aspect of the Iranian issue that is not that complicated, though. If the United States has a stated goal of not allowing Iran to have a nuclear weapon,  we currently have a deal (not perfect) that removes that postpones that for a decade. Great, in theory, no war.

If you scrap the Nuclear Deal, then we go back to Iran having no incentive not to pursue their nuclear ambitions. If diplomacy is thrown out, and I don’t have faith in diplomacy under Trump when he has ambassadors taking names, that means that either the U.S. – or Israel – will be forced to stop Iran through military action. That’s it. That portion of the relationship, on this issue, is simple. No sane or thoughtful person believes that will be good for America or Israel.

Since starting my initial draft of this post, the U.S. has announced new sanctions on Iran because of its missile test, and Iran has told the U.S. to “be careful.”

President Trump has not been in office for 20 days.

But there’s that one country we won’t bully, and I hear they have excellent Vodka, which we may all be in need of soon.

Today, the U.S. announced the easing of sanctions that target information technology products being sold to Russia. The Obama Administration put sanctions in place after 17 U.S. intelligence agencies noted that Russia attempted to interfere in our electoral process. Today, the White House eased those same restrictions. I guess that’s cool. That makes sense. That’s America being tough. Let’s sell technology to the Russian Security Service – great!

Trump is in bed with Russia like a cheap whore and we have a Congress so obscenely obsessed with power that no one cares to speak out about behavior that would have any other politician run out of town. I guess even bullies know who they can’t beat. But here’s the thing, America can stand up to Russia, but our President can’t. Why? There is an answer to that and I would love to know what it is.

Here we are, with our own 70-year-old American bully President. America, the former light of the world, now leading it with vitriol and bullying behavior, with a President ready to stick his thumb in the eye of every other country – consequences be damned.

King Trump on the Throne

Can President Obama come back?  What about George H.W. Bush? I know he is 92, but he is still of sound mind and served in various levels of government. I’ll take him. Fine, America – no Hillary, but what about Bill? I’ll even take Dubya. I’ll take George W. Bush, which is really saying something. I miss the man who once said, “hispanically speaking” – so that tells you we are in dire straights.

Alas, it has been a little over a week since the Great Clementine ascended to the throne. King Trump and his court have been busy, giving us a glimpse of the horror show we can look forward to for the next four or worse eight years! We shouldn’t be surprised, Trump has been telegraphing he thinks he’s King ever since he gave the world a glimpse into that gold and gaudy imitation Versailles on 5th Avenue.

If we didn’t know it before, we learned the King and his team has a propensity to lie. We’ve heard about alternative facts from Kellyanne Conway. The administration continued to shovel alternative facts to the American people about rampant voter fraud (lie). Crowd sizes at Trump’s inauguration (still lying – just can’t let that one go).  And in an interview with David Muir – the King informed the American people of his affinity and belief in torture and that it works (more lies). Wait, can I say that? Am I still allowed to call a lie a lie without fear of the guillotine?

Wait, this is still a democracy with a right of freedom of speech enshrined in its constitution, right? There was no coronation on January 20th, even if the current President seems to believe we had one. Those darn alternative facts keep getting in the way! Just because he and his minions say something is true, doesn’t make it so. So, I shall continue with my truthful snark without fear.

Oh, what else happened in week one inside the Trump Kingdom?

Poor Sean Spicer, his Press Secretary, was trotted out to dispense and defend the lies of the day – no matter how outrageous or evenly disproven. He, like Kellyanne, remains in training at the devil’s workshop. However, unlike Kellyanne, who has learned to lie without flinching,  Mr. Spicer still struggles. With Mr. Spicer, you can still see his wheels spinning as he tries to weave his lies to the Press Corps – so there was some back peddling where he was concerned. He couldn’t commit to the Voter Fraud lie for instance. The poor soul seems nervous about the whole thing – as if he hasn’t completely ditched his conscience in the nearest trash heap.

We learned through those pesky liberal media sources, The Washington Post and New York Times that our President personally applied pressure to the Parks Department to show, presumably, alternative facts in photographs. If he proclaimed it enough, his inauguration crowd really would be YUGE. News of that “gentle pressure” being applied by the King, I mean President, leaked and no alternative photographs were produced. Has it really come to this?

We also learned that the Administration required a media blackout of all Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) employees. That was rescinded after some outrage, but because we now have a bipolar government, it may be back in effect this upcoming week – who knows.

We also had a flurry of Executive Orders from the President. Does anyone remember when Republicans were outraged about these orders? OUTRAGED – shout that like Oprah Winfrey used to scream YOU GET A CAR, AND YOU GET A CAR! They were so outraged about President Obama’s Executive Orders and “overreach” there were rumblings in some more ridiculous conservative corners that they were impeachable offensives. Eh, that outrage was soo last year.

I guess we really are going to build Trump’s wall – presumably out of donated Legos and Lincoln Logs because no one is going to pay for this nonsense.  Mexico keeps telling us as diplomatically as possible to f-off and that they will be damned if they’re going to pay for it. If they don’t pay for it (as they shouldn’t), that would be a break of a campaign promise by Mr. Trump – and yet another lie.

Aren’t the American people embarrassed by now? I know I am, I am practically hiding under my duvet cover as I type this.

So since Mexico won’t pay for it, it was rumored the President was considering a 20% tax on goods from Mexico, but then some adult in the room explained that would essentially end up being a tax on the American people. They backed off that plan for now.

By week’s end, we received another hastily non-thought out Executive Order that created chaos throughout America’s airports and revealed the worst in the American character. Millions of people were banned, and we were told it was for our safety (most likely false).

There was a lot of news, and this certainly was not all of it. What will week two bring for America and the world? I for one am not sure, but I doubt it will be anything good. We all need to keep our eyes peeled wide open, for the Liar-in-Chief is busy. I wonder if he is making time for tanning or if all this plotting to screw over the American public and seek revenge for his oh so aggrieved working-class voters precludes him from having the time to do that. I guess that could be one good thing that comes out of all this!

And as this week began, we had yet another Executive Order, but this one was stylized like a sale at Macy’s. A two for one deal in regards to regulations. “One in, two out order” is what we’re calling it.

The President may be failing at being presidential, but he is a brilliant marketer. He could sell his own feces to a particular segment of the American people, and they’d eat it up like Godiva chocolate. Everything and everyone gets a glossy meaningless slogan. Everything sounds good. Tomorrow he will be talking like Dr. Seuss, “one fish, two fish red fish, blue fish,”  when announcing his next decree. Will anyone notice if it doesn’t make sense? Although, considering the education level of some of his supporters, probably makes sense to talk like that. Ok, that wasn’t kind, I take that back (sort of).

You know I am actually for making things easier for businesses, but tell me what regulation specifically needs to be rescinded. Some regulations are good. Talk to me about the specific rule causing a loss of jobs and productivity. But the President won’t do that, it’s too much work and requires too much governing. To me, this is all code for allowing business to essentially do what they please and in sectors that affect the environment, for instance, I don’t see how that is good for the country.

The King has ascended to the throne, and he is on a mission – facts, kindness, decorum, or rationality be damned. Heaven help us.