“Alternative Facts” – as taught by Kellyanne Conway

President Petty took time away from his new presidential duties to squabble about the size of his inauguration crowds over the weekend. Jesus take the wheel and drive fast, must this shallow and thin-skinned man go down this rabbit hole?

As the title of President does not seem appropriate for such an unserious man, I may call Trump President Petty from this day forward. But seriously, the newly elected 45th President of the United States was concerned about crowd size. Not jobs. Not terrorism. Not reading the constitution. No, crowd size. Where is the adult in the room to say yo, dude, you won – you have the power now shut up. Why do you care about this? Don’t reduce yourself and the office to this.

That person is supposed to be that wretched being, Kellyanne Conway Vampiress, and Stealer of Souls. Listen, I think most view politicians and political folks as worst than mud underneath their feet, but Kellyanne is a special kind of vile. She is a walking oil slick. She will look you in the eye and lie to you about what you just saw and not flinch or skip a beat. Your name is Bob and she’ll tell you to your face it’s Tom. By the time you’re done arguing with the devil’s apprentice you may walk away second guessing yourself. Slippery and down and dirty – you always need a bath after allowing her to come through your television screen. She must be even worse in person.

This weekend this soulless carbon being slithered about the Sunday morning news programs and tried to teach America about “alternative facts.” My forhead is sore from the number of slaps I inflicted upon it. Fortunately, most of us went to grade school where we all learned the difference between facts, opinions, and lies – or, excuse me, non-factual statements.

President Obama’s crowds for his inauguration were larger than President Petty’s – fact. The Woman’s March in D.C. over the weekend drew more people and by a lot – fact. Pictures tell the story. Figures from the D.C. Metro tell the story. The Park Service tell the story. But because facts are disposable and ever changing in Trump’s America, the Vampiress was trotted out to convince us of “alternative facts” and to tell us that we didn’t see what we saw. This, by the way, seems to be a scary theme emerging out of Trumpland – the gaslighting of America. You didn’t see what you just saw. You didn’t hear what you just heard. Don’t question us about the appalling thing you just saw or heard, if you do there will be hell to pay.

This, by the way, seems to be a scary theme emerging out of Trumpland – the gaslighting of America. You didn’t see what you just saw. You didn’t hear what you just heard. Don’t question us about the appalling thing you just saw or heard, if you do there will be hell to pay. Nothing to see here folks. Just nod and smile like Melania and we will all get along.

At the end of the day, this is dumb. It’s extraordinarily silly. President Obama is gone. The power lies with Trump and his cartel of stooge billionaires and soulless White House staff. He has the power and should begin to govern (scary thought) like a real leader – whether a million people came out to see him, or just one.  Instead, he is still in celebrity mode pouting about who is more popular essentially. Who had better television ratings? Who had more people? Dude, who cares!

But the new President is so sensitive, so desperate to be loved and liked that he has to stoop to lying and pushes his staff out to attempt to mislead the American people about things that don’t really matter.

What on God’s green Earth are “alternative facts?” Facts are facts – they really don’t have alternatives. And while everything seems to be malleable with these people, sane people cannot buy into this jello pudding version of the concept of truth. Facts and truth matter. They are essential to a successful and progressing democracy.

Americans should be alarmed that we have an administration so willing to lie about things we can plainly see – and such silly things at that.

If President Petty, Sean Spicer, and the evilest of them all – the Vampiress Kellyanne Conway – are willing to lie about this, something so trivial, what else will they lie about?

Ask Not What Your Pussy Can Do For You, Ask What You Can Do For Other Pussies

I know, I know the title is ridiculous, but I have searched my mind, recesses and all, to ponder what, if anything meaningful or memorable, this divisive man will say to the nation tomorrow?

I cannot think of a less serious person to ever hold this office in modern times. It’s truly a sin and a shame, but this is what the American people, with the help of our undemocratic electoral system, wanted and received.

We wanted change. We are certainly going to get that, a departure from norms and decency. We didn’t want intelligence and experience. Ask, and you shall receive, because we are not going to get that either. I am content in knowing that I had no parts in this.

My mother was born on January 20, 1961. Being the political crackhead that I am, I have always geeked out a bit regarding how cool I found that to be – that my mother was born the day President Kennedy was inaugurated, a President who filled Americans with such optimism and hope.

We now know that behind the scenes Kennedy was a jackrabbit who would be willing to resort, without shame, to humping the leg of a desk if there was no woman in his presence. But regarding his policy positions and his words, publicly at least, he remains one of the greats.

Which brings me back to Inauguration Day. I don’t know what the soon to be President of the United States will say today, but I am sure there will be no wisdom or oft quoted lines like, “ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.” I can’t imagine hearing anything that resonates with the American people like, “we have nothing to fear but fear itself.” Trump has frequently told us we should fear everyone and everything by the way.

But because this is Trump, I suppose I should expect the unexpected. Maybe he will surprise me and finally rise to the occasion.

But more likely from Trump, we should expect a shocker – something like, “ask not what you can do for your pussy, ask what you can do for other pussies,” followed by an obscene grabbing gesture. He likes to shock, shout, and snatch headlines for all the wrong reasons we must remember. We voted for this, and he doesn’t know how to be anything but the Donald.

Ok, pussy being dropped in an inauguration speech, a bit much, but the American public allowed for the possibility. We shrugged about sexual assault and pussy grabbing, so it’s now normal, and I can utter pussy over and over again in this post. Why not? We said it was acceptable with our votes.

We did this. We allowed this to happen by being apathetic. We allowed this to happen by not voting. We allowed this to happen by not voting for Hillary Clinton in strategic states. We did this by voting third party. We allowed this to happen by expecting perfection out of Hillary Clinton. Our media aided Trump’s win by always promoting a false equivalence between the two candidates.

Hillary Clinton allowed this to happen by failing to adequately acknowledge the winds of change, the anger in this country, and that typically the American people usually do want shiny new toys every eight years. Hillary was neither shiny or new, although I personally like smelly old books, which maybe that’s why she was a perfect fit for me.  Unfortunately, large segments of the country felt differently.

In retrospect, her loss seems so obvious. And no, no folks – I am not convinced that Bernie would have necessarily won either. Donald Trump successfully branded himself and so many opponents, and while Bernie doesn’t have the twenty plus years of scars Hillary Clinton has, he could have been branded as a career politician (by definition he is one).  Trump would have argued Bernie built nothing and would try to tax the nation to prosperity – which does not work. I could go on, but I will stop there – what does it matter now?

My mother was a huge Hillary Clinton supporter because of her stated policy positions and, yes, because she is a woman. There was a tremendous sense of pride there in seeing Hillary Clinton attempt to try and break the glass ceiling. And no, she was not one of these women who spouted, “I want to see a woman, but just not her.” She wanted to see her win – specifically this female win.

During the election, former Secretary of State Madeline Albright found herself in the hot seat for claiming that there was quote, “a special place in hell for a woman who doesn’t support other women.”

At the time, I thought the line was sort of over the top but comical. In retrospect, Ms. Albright was right. That white women turned their back on Hillary Clinton as evidenced by the election results for whatever reason, but could support the sexual assault candidate, is…is…for someone who enjoys putting words on paper, a fact that almost renders me without thoughts to articulate.

I am a gay black man, so I have seen and heard some shit, but I firmly believe sexism is firmly entrenched in American culture as much as racism and homophobia. My favorite line about women, uttered by men and women alike is, “I don’t know why – I just don’t like her.” Women aren’t even respected enough in this country for someone to have to spend the time to figure out a reason to dislike them. You can dismiss them out of hand.

Don’t forget, you can like a sexy and sultry pussy, but a smart and ambitious pussy is out of place and threatening. So remember, a woman in a power pantsuit wrong – new first lady of our country with her titties plastered in magazines – good. Melania is so lovely and botoxed – maybe that should solve all our problems.

But this election was not about women, people of color, Bernie Sanders, Hillary Clinton, supporting norms or decency, or real solutions. It was about “unheard” white working class voters who wanted to make America great again – whatever that means or meant – coming out in droves to take back their country (from progress apparently) and to get their coal mining jobs back, which of course they won’t get back.

By the way, can someone tell me when we are going to allow the truly unheard in this country be heard? For example, the inner cities and all the problems affecting people of color, for instance, have been “unheard” and ignored for decades. This country has more often that not turned it’s back and said – get a job – your misery and your plight is your fault.

What’s good for the goose should be good for the gander, someone should tell white rural voters in West Virginia that the economy has changed, coal isn’t the future – get a new job and skill-  your poverty has nothing to do with your government.

Of course, I don’t believe that, but all of the justification and the excuses being made post-election for what is on it’s face a horrible choice made by some in Donald Trump has been eye roll inducing and a little nauseating. I feel for the white working class, but can we care about some other working class folks too.

Uh, my blood pressure is rising, and I am losing my zen. Love and light, love and light. As I said, the American people wanted this – so I am content.

So, anyway, here were are – a few hours from allowing Donald and Melania Trump to redecorate the White House in gaudy gold leaf.

So this Inauguration Day will be tough for my mother, me, and the other almost 66 million people (compared to Trump’s nearly 63 million) who cast their vote for the former Secretary of State.

I think we are entering a dark chapter in America’s history. Hell if you can’t agree that it’s dark, can we agree it’s embarrassing? It’s embarrassing to have a President waking up in the middle of the night to tweet every time someone tweaks him. I mean honestly, who attacks Meryl Streep? He squabbles with Alec Baldwin and the cast of Saturday Night Live. It’s all so silly. The man is 70 years old for God sake! But, as I said, I am oddly content. This is what the people wanted.

I take some solace when I remember that our country is a young nation in comparison to other countries. So while America may celebrate its 241st birthday this year, she’s basically 15 when comparing her to say the United Kingdom. She’s an immature brat still finding her way in the world. She will make mistakes and have missteps.

When I think about it this way, I realize that America is in her know it all teenager phase while the adults in the room know she truly knows nothing. This vote for Trump is basically the equivalent to an adolescent doing drugs, cursing, fighting,  and hiking up the skirt of her Catholic school uniform to look sexy and put on a show – even though she knows better.

I sincerely believe or say it to make myself feel better, that the vast majority know better.

Now to continue with this analogy, there are only two outcomes. America is going to get her ass beat or snap out of this, but by who, what, or when –  I don’t know. Actually, there is a third outcome. America could overdose on those drugs I referenced earlier. Trump is the drug, and he is making millions feel good right now, but he is not good for those that support him – or the rest of us that have to sit idly by for four years. But hey, for some people the high is all that matters.

This January 20th will not be like the one in 1961. People will talk about it, but mostly likely for the wrong reasons. I mentioned President Kennedy’s peccadilloes, but we weren’t supposed to know any of that. There was some shame. We have a soon to be President who has no shame. He tweets anything that comes to mind. He apparently thinks sexual assault is his privilege and when is caught describing it on tape has to be convinced to apologize by that wretched Kellyanne Conway – and still throws dirt on the Clintons in the process. He even defiantly said, initially, he didn’t apologize to his wife because he had nothing to apologize about – ladies and gentleman the man is a neandertal.

We have a soon to be President who is hot tempered and fights with everyone and any country (except Russia). He is always right and anyone who disagrees with him is dumb and subpar. All Presidents dislike the press, but his open disdain and hatred – threatens one of the important institutions that make our democracy thrive. Without the press, who keeps the Emperor in check? These are scary times.

To end with some optimism, maybe January 21st will finally bring us a presidential President Trump. When he is no longer the President-elect, perhaps the enormity of that office will fully hit him, and he will absorb the magnitude of his position and the power of his words and actions. Unfortunately, Maya Angelou said, “when people show you who they are, believe them.” I wish I came up with that myself because it’s just so damn true. I want to be optimistic, but the man has shown us who he is…

Trump and Karen Walker


I’ve dug up a gem! At first, I was mortified to find one of my favorite actresses from one of my favorite television shows, Will & Grace, on the same stage as the would be Louis XIV. But this performance is from 2006, long before Mr. Trump had aspirations to build walls, deport Muslims, and Tweet himself into American history.

Watch the clip below:


This man, this prostitute to fame and winning just for the sake of it, is sworn in as POTUS on Friday folks. Sheesh. It’s rather prophetic that he is dressed like a hillbilly, it’s as if he is speaking to his supporters.

Watch the 2nd video to get Megan Mullally’s take on this performance in light of current events below:

Can Trump Pass the Class?

Let us take a moment to think of the presidency as a class with a lengthy syllabus. The President-elect, unfortunately, has been a piss poor student failing to take notes, ask proper questions, or to keep quiet when smarter people are talking.

Thus far, the President-elect has failed his assignments on statesmanship, the U.S. Constitution, the role of the media, and not pissing off China among other topics. We also can add U.S. Intelligence Agencies to this list of failed assignments. The final of this course is on January 20th – will he be prepared to pass the test and class and be sworn in – with some level of preparation for the office? Stay tuned for next week’s episode of The Pussy Grabbing Reality TV Star President. Wait, I may be ahead of myself and the country. Is it too soon to publicly acknowledge that the Executive Branch is only a few degrading steps away from being a tawdry reality show?  He has enough exes and kids and feuds with plenty of people after all. Maybe in 2018, we can acknowledge that a vote for him was also a vote to degrade the presidency. I have digressed, let’s get back to class.

The President-elect is the kid in class who hates Algebra and thinks it’s dumb, nonimportant, and refuses to do his homework because he is unable to comprehend the subject. His inadequateness somehow morphs into an indictment on the subject, in this case, the intelligence agencies because the lesson being taught is that Russia wanted Trump to be elected and attempted to aid in that cause. To be clear, no one is saying Trump won because of Russian hacking.

To ensure success in the endeavor of a Hillary Clinton defeat, I personally like to thank w thank the FBI, the media, third party voters and some of Clinton’s own missteps for that. But the fact remains the hacking happened, and it should alarm every citizen. The man-child does not like that.

Yes, we have elected a child, but not just any chid – he’s Macaulay Culkin in The Good Son. He’s manipulative and treacherous, and it’s all fun and games until he’s trying to push you off a cliff. I am afraid the “person” going off the cliff will be this country and our values. And, to be clear, I am sure our country will be here (well, there is the issue of those pesky nukes – and the President-elect seemed to fail that lesson too). We will survive the Age of Trump. I am just not sure how America will look, how much damage there will be to the institutions that make our democracy healthy when this experiment into populist folly is complete.

When I started this blog, my  intention was not to make this an anti-Trump blog, as that’s no fun and I didn’t plan to write about him all the time. Plus, I assumed at some point he would have to show some interest in acting like a President. I was as wrong about that as I was the inevitability of Hillary Clinton being elected. He makes it so damn hard for me not to write about him. The extraordinary level of absurdity can’t be passed up for comment.

As another day comes to a close and we weather more Trump insanity, I hope that the Vampiress and Stealer of Souls Kellyanne Conway is in her lair plotting a way to educate the great petulant one on the importance of intelligence and briefings. After all, after Pussygate she was supposedly responsible for reigning him in during the last week of the election. He stayed on message and stopped talking about Mexicans and Muslims. Maybe she can get him to stop cracking on American intelligence too.

She must tell him by so publicly refuting the findings of our intelligence agencies, all 17 of them, he’s siding with Russia. And while I understand  Sarah Palin can see Russia from her house – it is not another state or friendly territory – it’s a foreign government! A foreign government that may be amenable to business with the President-elect and his associates, but not agreeable to the policy objectives of the government that he was elected to lead. There are American values to uphold. The Capitol and The White House are not in Moscow. Can we purchase him a map too Kellyanne? Damn it  Kellyanne do your job and force him to stop tweeting and to get to his studies! I know the Vampiress has the power to get this done!

Kellyanne must explain that a President relies on intelligence, that Americans are putting their lives on the line for this information, that he must weigh it, must discern its importance, and keep some opinions and beliefs to himself. The President-elect has to learn this lesson now. We, as a country, don’t have time to send our future President to summer school. The evidence suggests he cannot pass the class and with no summer school, it looks like we’re screwed.