Et tu, Charlie?

I was minding my own business yesterday at 6:45pm when I received a text from a friend that read, “Charlie Rose?!!! Noooo!!!” My heart dropped and I assumed that good old Charlie Rose had died. I mean, what other story could it be – it’s Charlie Rose. Professional, reliable, sensible, non-sexual Charlie Rose. A few moments later I was corrected with a simple “No,” followed by a link that CBS suspended him after multiple harassment accusations.

I was genuinely shocked and then I admonished myself for being shocked. At this point, why should I or anyone be surprised? In the words of a former President with questionable intellect, “fool me once, shame on you. Fool me, you can’t get fooled again.” Ah, the wisdom of George W. Bush, but he is right, of course. How could I be fooled by Charlie Rose? After all he is a powerful, successful man and that’s apparently all it takes to invite an unsuspecting woman to take a shower with you.

Do we know if Charlie is a masturbator who likes an audience like Louis C.K.?  What’s that about? I just assumed everyone liked to self-pleasure in solitude or with a verifiable, definitive supportive person. It’s true what they say, you learn something new everyday.

For 2017, I am going to compile a list of things that truly baffle me – so far I have these items:

  1. The aforementioned people who like to masturbate in front of unsuspecting and disapproving citizens.
  2. Elephant trophies. (that deserves it’s own blog)
  3. Ben Carson and Sarah Huckabee Sanders because they equally cause my brain to hurt and astound me at their ability to describe the world as they see it through the looking glass.
  4. Mistress of the Dark, Kellyanne Conyway.
  5. Conservatives who destroy their Keurig machines in support of Roy Moore. (Like, you care that much that they pulled advertising?)

But moving along, what are we going to do about this sort of behavior as a society? The patriarchy is so strong, so entrenched and entitled, that seemingly an entire generation of men – of all races, political affiliation, intellect, etc – seem to think it’s acceptable to grope, harass, proposition, and rape women. Besides the fact that it’s all gross, is Al Franken the same as Bill Clinton? What about Woody Allen, Bill Cosby, and Harvey Weinstein? When these revelations occur, is there anyway for the accused to make amends for their behavior – if it were not criminal? All things I never had to think about before.

One of my favorite episodes of Will & Grace is when Karen Walker is boozily watching a delivery man move a desk. He’s beefy and hunky and Karen, while ogling at him, proclaims “MOVE THAT DESK BITCH!” as his arms bulge and his butt is on display in tight jeans. Ok, I promise not to start writing gay romance novels!

At either rate, it’s funny because everyone knows it’s over the top and inappropriate, and Megan Mullally is of course a fantastic comedic actress, but more than that it’s funny because no one would really behave like that, right? Everyone knows how absurd such behavior is, or so I thought.

So where do we go from here? As someone I work with proclaimed after Charlie Rose went from being suspended to fired in less than 24 hours, “WE’RE NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO WATCH ANYTHING ON TELEVISION.” I laughed until I realized she was truly concerned. She followed up with, “they really want me to start reading.” I responded with, “Well, I have lots of books you can borrow.” OY VEY. She is an otherwise lovely woman, I promise.

So another night in America, another man out on his ass for being a pig. America, gurl, get your Barnes and Noble Membership cards ready because I have a feeling the “banned list” of programming will continue to get longer!

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