King Trump on the Throne

Can President Obama come back?  What about George H.W. Bush? I know he is 92, but he is still of sound mind and served in various levels of government. I’ll take him. Fine, America – no Hillary, but what about Bill? I’ll even take Dubya. I’ll take George W. Bush, which is really saying something. I miss the man who once said, “hispanically speaking” – so that tells you we are in dire straights.

Alas, it has been a little over a week since the Great Clementine ascended to the throne. King Trump and his court have been busy, giving us a glimpse of the horror show we can look forward to for the next four or worse eight years! We shouldn’t be surprised, Trump has been telegraphing he thinks he’s King ever since he gave the world a glimpse into that gold and gaudy imitation Versailles on 5th Avenue.

If we didn’t know it before, we learned the King and his team has a propensity to lie. We’ve heard about alternative facts from Kellyanne Conway. The administration continued to shovel alternative facts to the American people about rampant voter fraud (lie). Crowd sizes at Trump’s inauguration (still lying – just can’t let that one go).  And in an interview with David Muir – the King informed the American people of his affinity and belief in torture and that it works (more lies). Wait, can I say that? Am I still allowed to call a lie a lie without fear of the guillotine?

Wait, this is still a democracy with a right of freedom of speech enshrined in its constitution, right? There was no coronation on January 20th, even if the current President seems to believe we had one. Those darn alternative facts keep getting in the way! Just because he and his minions say something is true, doesn’t make it so. So, I shall continue with my truthful snark without fear.

Oh, what else happened in week one inside the Trump Kingdom?

Poor Sean Spicer, his Press Secretary, was trotted out to dispense and defend the lies of the day – no matter how outrageous or evenly disproven. He, like Kellyanne, remains in training at the devil’s workshop. However, unlike Kellyanne, who has learned to lie without flinching,  Mr. Spicer still struggles. With Mr. Spicer, you can still see his wheels spinning as he tries to weave his lies to the Press Corps – so there was some back peddling where he was concerned. He couldn’t commit to the Voter Fraud lie for instance. The poor soul seems nervous about the whole thing – as if he hasn’t completely ditched his conscience in the nearest trash heap.

We learned through those pesky liberal media sources, The Washington Post and New York Times that our President personally applied pressure to the Parks Department to show, presumably, alternative facts in photographs. If he proclaimed it enough, his inauguration crowd really would be YUGE. News of that “gentle pressure” being applied by the King, I mean President, leaked and no alternative photographs were produced. Has it really come to this?

We also learned that the Administration required a media blackout of all Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) employees. That was rescinded after some outrage, but because we now have a bipolar government, it may be back in effect this upcoming week – who knows.

We also had a flurry of Executive Orders from the President. Does anyone remember when Republicans were outraged about these orders? OUTRAGED – shout that like Oprah Winfrey used to scream YOU GET A CAR, AND YOU GET A CAR! They were so outraged about President Obama’s Executive Orders and “overreach” there were rumblings in some more ridiculous conservative corners that they were impeachable offensives. Eh, that outrage was soo last year.

I guess we really are going to build Trump’s wall – presumably out of donated Legos and Lincoln Logs because no one is going to pay for this nonsense.  Mexico keeps telling us as diplomatically as possible to f-off and that they will be damned if they’re going to pay for it. If they don’t pay for it (as they shouldn’t), that would be a break of a campaign promise by Mr. Trump – and yet another lie.

Aren’t the American people embarrassed by now? I know I am, I am practically hiding under my duvet cover as I type this.

So since Mexico won’t pay for it, it was rumored the President was considering a 20% tax on goods from Mexico, but then some adult in the room explained that would essentially end up being a tax on the American people. They backed off that plan for now.

By week’s end, we received another hastily non-thought out Executive Order that created chaos throughout America’s airports and revealed the worst in the American character. Millions of people were banned, and we were told it was for our safety (most likely false).

There was a lot of news, and this certainly was not all of it. What will week two bring for America and the world? I for one am not sure, but I doubt it will be anything good. We all need to keep our eyes peeled wide open, for the Liar-in-Chief is busy. I wonder if he is making time for tanning or if all this plotting to screw over the American public and seek revenge for his oh so aggrieved working-class voters precludes him from having the time to do that. I guess that could be one good thing that comes out of all this!

And as this week began, we had yet another Executive Order, but this one was stylized like a sale at Macy’s. A two for one deal in regards to regulations. “One in, two out order” is what we’re calling it.

The President may be failing at being presidential, but he is a brilliant marketer. He could sell his own feces to a particular segment of the American people, and they’d eat it up like Godiva chocolate. Everything and everyone gets a glossy meaningless slogan. Everything sounds good. Tomorrow he will be talking like Dr. Seuss, “one fish, two fish red fish, blue fish,”  when announcing his next decree. Will anyone notice if it doesn’t make sense? Although, considering the education level of some of his supporters, probably makes sense to talk like that. Ok, that wasn’t kind, I take that back (sort of).

You know I am actually for making things easier for businesses, but tell me what regulation specifically needs to be rescinded. Some regulations are good. Talk to me about the specific rule causing a loss of jobs and productivity. But the President won’t do that, it’s too much work and requires too much governing. To me, this is all code for allowing business to essentially do what they please and in sectors that affect the environment, for instance, I don’t see how that is good for the country.

The King has ascended to the throne, and he is on a mission – facts, kindness, decorum, or rationality be damned. Heaven help us.



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