Trump Meets the Press


The character of Billy Flynn from the musical Chicago famously sings, “Razzle dazzle ’em and they’ll never catch wise!” Today, the President-elect did his best Billy Flynn, not only razzle-dazzling, but as Billy sings during his number – the President-elect gave us the “old film flam flummox, fool and fracture ’em” as well.

The President-elect met the press today and what we learned is that the President-elect will just do what he wants and create truth as he breathes. He scolded, dismissed, grimaced, and evaded. We had tap dancing and two stepping and more willful suspension of disbelief.

Let’s relive the razzle dazzle, in no particular order.

We had adjectives like tremendous and great and beautiful and massive.

We relived the election – again – and were informed of the “movement” and his huge election win (although that didn’t happen – it wasn’t huge).

He used big words like crap.

We had props. Yes, because no one knows what paper looks like, or to show us how HUGE his business is, we had lots and lots of files on a table – all of which he has signed apparently. We were told he was turning over his business to his sons – so it must be true. Never mind that this does not solve the ethical challenges. I mean, in theory, he will speak to his children about the business, right?

We had a special guest star in attorney Ms. Dillion and were told that conflict of interest laws don’t apply to the President or Vice-President. She explained all the reasons why the President-elect can’t untangle himself from his businesses and that everything will be fine and because Ms. Dillion says it is so – it surely must be fine.

People and presumably some members of the press clapped like grade schoolers when she finished.

We learned we would repeal and replace Obamacare all at the same time.

We learned that 96 million people- NINETY-SIX – who want jobs and they couldn’t get them, and we were told that is the real number and he is going to fix that. And so it must be true.

Surprisingly he does accept the findings that Russia did hack the DNC, but because the President-elect is a prepubescent boy, he quickly informed us that other countries do it too! I always forget he is a silly boy. When Pussygate broke, Melania Trump was dragged out in front of the press and did an interview with Anderson Cooper telling him that the President-elect was “egged on” by Billy Bush and that his own description of what would be defined as sexual assault was just “locker room talk.” Sheesh, I thought boys slapped each other with towels in the locker room. I had no idea they were so rapey.

Yes, the President-elect was reacquainted with the media today, and he seemed to like it as much as a child being forced to eat his vegetables. While it appears the President-elect will only be providing the American people with seasonal press conferences, he has given a preview of what we can expect when is President – more ego, more evasion, anger, stream of conscious rambling, petulance – and just a general mess.

God help us.

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